So, I was on a plane with a Jewish doctor and a Mormon missionary and...
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As I previously mentioned, last week I was privileged to travel to Israel to speak at 25 American Yeshiva programs in Israel. On my trip I was accompanied by Charles, “Charlie”, Harary. Before I go on, I feel I should tell you a bit about Charlie. Charlie redefines the term charisma. Anyone who has ever met Charlie knows that he has a magnetic pull on people. People are immediately taken by his warmth and sincerity. Charlie has been an NCSY “Advisor” for over 10 years. Even though he is a prominent real estate attorney at Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP, he always makes time to go to Central East Shabbatonim.
Charlie recently started the Young Leadership Cabinet, YLC, at the OU which is an incubator for the future leaders of Klal Yisrael. In Israel Charlie and I traveled to 25 schools over 4 days. What we found was astounding- hundreds of 18 & 19 year olds that are concerned about Klal Yisrael! We talked about the rampant assimilation in America and the need to put a stop to it. Not only did these students understand and share my vision, I was mobbed at almost every school with people begging me to give them guidance on how to deal with their family and friends.
The questions included:
1) So many of my friends from my Jewish high school did not go to Israel and are no longer frum. What can I do?
2) My cousin who is my age is totally cut off from Judaism. What should I tell her to make her understand what she is missing?
3) My mother married a non-Jew. What should I do?
4) My girlfriend from high school still claims she is shomer shabbos in college, but I just found out she is dating a non-Jew. What do I do?
5) I have a good friend from a prominent Jewish rabbinical family who is totally off the derech. What should I say to him?
6) My parents think I have gone insane because I am keeping shabbos now. How do I make them understand my choice?
It broke my heart to meet so many beautiful young adults with so many worries weighing on them. It broke my heart even further when I realized that this was only a small sampling of heartache and turmoil going on in Klal Yisroel today. We are a broken people in so many ways. There is not a family among us that has not been scarred by assimilation and intermarriage. Where is the outcry? I am terrified that we have become accepting of the carnage that is happening to the Jewish People before our very eyes.
I recently sat on a plane. It was a Jet Blue flight from LA to Washington that I had booked at the last minute to speak at the AJOP conference. (You can read my speech from the convention on this site.) Anyway, because I booked my ticket at the last minute I was stuck with a middle seat. It has literally been years since I have sat in a middle seat. I was sandwiched between a prominent Jewish research doctor from Orange County and a Mormon from Northern California. Sounds like the beginning of a joke doesn’t it? I wish it was. I went to the restroom early on in the flight. When I returned the doctor leaned over and said that he couldn’t help but glance at the work on my tray table (In venerable Burg fashion I was working on my speech on the plane. I am a notoriously last minute crammer). “What do you do?” he asked me. I told him all about NCSY and the holy work that we do. He proceeded to tell me that he had 4 daughters.
Although he and his wife were members of a Conservative synagogue, three out of four of his daughters had chosen to marry non-Jews. He of course added, “but they are happy and that is what counts”. What seemed to trouble him the most was that his eldest daughter had married a Jewish spouse, but they were now divorced. He told me that he had offered to foot the whole bill for his daughter to send his grandchildren to a Jewish day school, but she had refused. He could not seem to understand what her hesitation was.
The doctor also told me about all the trips he and his wife had taken all around the world. I asked him if he had ever been to Israel. He smiled and told me that he had been dying to go, but his wife had always been too scared. I told him that even if his grandchildren do not go to a Jewish school he must get them to Israel. I gave him my card and offered to help in any way.
After that lengthy exchange I truly needed to get back to my speech when the Mormon by the window tapped me on the shoulder and said that he could not help but overhear my conversation. We began to talk for a bit about my work and his missionary work. The missionary explained that he spends a lot of time in South America proselytizing for the Mormon Church. At one point he said to me, “You keep talking about outreach, but what about inreach?”
I told him all about NCSY’s work with yeshiva day school students. He then turned to me and said, “I’m pleased to learn that, because if you are just doing outreach then you are JUST BAILING WATER FROM A SHIP WITH A HOLE IN THE BOTTOM”. I found that statement truly profound.
We (Klal Yisrael) need to build Judaism into a powerhouse of an experience so that our own kids love and stick with it. At that point any outreach efforts would be defacto because we will have created a palatable Judaism. We will have created a Judaism where we do not have to panic if a teenager does not go to Israel after high school, rather they will be running toward the opportunity in high gear.
The answer to all of the questions I listed above is that we need to introduce all those people to a vibrant, passionate Judaism; a Judaism where every day is filled with joy in service of Hashem. How many of us wake up every morning and say “WHAT A GREAT DAY TO BE A JEW”?
Imagine if we did………..
This is great. Keep it up
Posted by rick Magder on 03/07 at 11:25 AMFantastic Blog. Yiddishkeit must be as vibrant in our own homes as it is when go to work, school, or grocery shopping. Thanks for a great entry!!
Posted by Neil Harris on 03/13 at 12:15 PMDear Sir....
What a great story..i am a non Jew with a Jewish heritage and am now starting to find out more about it.and the greatest thing is that an Orthodox Jewish man has introduce me to it.
More power to you and the rest of the OU people.
Sincerely,
KSPosted by Dr.Kit Spelman on 03/24 at 02:15 AMLearning from the professionals in outreach no matter where they are is phenomenal. I say study it systematically. Find out everything about what missionaries do and then decide what you can apply halachically and what not. Sensitizing FFB’s to the problems of BT’s is a major inreach issue. Check out this video clip from the Lincoln Square Beginners’ Minyan dinner: http://jerusalemcop.blogspot.com/2006/08/what-is-this-some-sort-of-dork.html
The kind of inreach I would like to get involved with here in Israel is breaking down stereotypes between Israelis and Americans in order to promote aliya. Those of you who have learned in Israeli yeshivas with a big American contingent know what I mean. The two groups are like oil and water. Working on better relations can help both the American guys to have a better experience and be better disposed to aliya and the Israelis to be potential aliya volunteers and shlichim leshem shamayim (instead of leshem a couple of years in America on the make).Posted by Yehoshua Friedman on 09/10 at 11:46 PM