dating- would it be allowed, once 20+ say in university or college. as i think it’s hard to be expected to marry a person you’ve never ahd physical contact with. even like kissing.

Dating? Of course. How else are you supposed to get to know your future spouse?

Physical contact? No. Orthodox Judaism does not permit physical contact outside of the context of marriage (excepting for relatives, and possibly completely non-sexual contact, such as a handshake) between the sexes.

How are you supposed to get married without having physical contact before marriage?

Observant Jews have been doing it for millenia, evidently it is quite possible. This type of behavior may strike you as strange, particularly in today’s society, but it is really quite logical. A successful marriage is primarily built upon the compatibility between the personalities of the two people. The compatibility of two personalities is something that needs to be “tested” before marriage. Kissing ability is not. A person can read a one-page how-to article about kissing and become an expert kisser. Personalities, unfortunately, don’t work that way.

Focusing on the physical aspect of the relationship while dating can easily lead a person away from focusing on the important things, namely personality, religious beliefs, and plans for the future, to name a few.

thanks for replying.. anyone else?

i agree.  it makes life so much easier if you get to know a person.  plus, if you have never kissed anyone else, how can you know that the person you’re with is a bad kisser.  you cant.  (same deal with other physical contact) personality however, you are with ppl daily so you have to be experienced… no way around that.

Casual dating is not appropriate for true frum yidden. While they will go on dates, it should only be done with someone who is a potential beshert/ basherta, someone chosen by a shadchan/ shadchanit. Dating has one goal, and that is the chasuna/finding one’s beshert. And who else can help them find the beshert but a shadchan? All other dating is assur- forbidden according to halacha. Indeed, the Rebbe, MH"M, says in Igros Kodesh: “The person is to occupy himself in finding a shidduch in a natural manner, (understandably, in a manner of tznius and in accordance with the Shulchan Aruch), and the Creator, who oversees each and every person with individual Divine Providence, will direct you to find the match that is best for you.”

Although I would tend to agree that dating should be done only for the purpose of marriage, I do not believe that the shadchan (matchmaker) bit is required. Although having a third party involved certainly may be useful in finding a potential spouse, I am pretty sure that there is no actual halachic requirement to employ a shadchan.

Oh, by the way, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson passed away in 1994.

i kinda see what you are saying
and speaking from a girl’s perspective
sometimes it feels good just to know you are wanted and loved. and someone likes you and cares bout you and just wants to be with youy and would do anything for you.
it gives you an extra sense of security